Outreach Letter to a Birth Father on Behalf of an Adoptee



Dear Birth Father:

The White Oak Foundation is a non-profit-making organization which provides post-adoption assistance to adopted persons who were born, adopted or are currently residing in Illinois and their birth and adoptive families.  A copy of our brochure is enclosed with this letter.  

A few weeks ago, we were contacted by Connie Jones, a 34-year-old adoptee who was born at Ingalls Hospital in Harvey, Illinois, on July 9, 1966. Unfortunately, the non-identifying and medical information that Connie has been able to access regarding her biological father is extremely sketchy. Connie knows absolutely nothing about her origins and even less about her genetic heritage.  And, like the majority of adoptees, she not only has an incredible thirst to know who her birth father was, but she also has a vital need to know if there are any paternal, genetically-linked diseases and conditions which she should be aware of.

Based on the information which appeared on her adoption papers, Connie knows that her father's name was James L. Stewart and he was 23 years old at the time of Connie's birth. After searching a number of publicly available databases, were able to locate only one person who corresponded to this particular profile. This was the process that led us to you.

Despite the many precautions which were taken to ensure that this letter arrived in the correct mailbox, there is the remote possibility that this communication has been sent to you in error and that you are not the person that we are hoping to locate.  If so, please simply complete the attached form and return it, along with the enclosed card and picture from Connie, in the provided self-addressed, stamped envelope.

If, on the other hand, the particulars of Connie's birth and adoption strike a familiar chord, your reaction to this letter and the enclosed note may be one of joy, dismay, or a little of both.  As a birth mother (who was happily reunited with a daughter surrendered in 1967 in April of 1996), I am well aware of the wide range of emotions that this letter may provoke.

It is very possible that, like an estimated 75% of birth fathers, you have often wondered what became of your daughter, and long ached to know if she shared your desire to reunite with the past.  If this is the case, this letter is probably very, very good news. Please feel free to call me at the number at the top of this letterhead for additional details.

It is also possible that, for any number of reasons, you may not be comfortable contacting Connie directly at this point in time. If so, you can either complete the attached form or call me to explore how we might approach this in as discreet a manner as possible.

The third possibility is that, even though I am certain you have often thought of your daughter over the past 34 years, you just do not feel that you can consider a reunion at this point in time. Although Connie will undoubtedly be disappointed to learn this, she would, of course, be totally respectful of your wishes with regard to any possible contact. Again, you have the choice of either contacting us directly or completing the attached form and returning it to us. However, should you choose not to pursue this matter, I would like to strongly urge you to complete the medical section of the enclosed questionnaire.  Although the majority of children separated from their parents by adoption or divorce have an understandable curiosity to know their birth roots, they all have an important-and compelling--need to know their medical background. Any medical history you could provide to Connie would be greatly appreciated and could not only allow her to take preventative action, but could, in many cases, also prolong or save her life.

Although I certainly have no way of predicting your reaction to this letter, I can tell you that, if you are the James L. Stewart whom Connie has been attempting to locate, you have every reason to be extremely proud of the daughter you brought into the world in 1966. She is an attractive and warm-hearted young woman who will, whatever your decision, be very relieved to learn that her long search has finally come to an end.


With best regards,


Melisha Mitchell
Executive Director
The White Oak Foundation